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Its Gonna Be One Torrid, Sweaty, Sexually Charged, Neo-Surf Wank Tonite Isnt It.
written: 26th September 2004, By Clay

greetings from the very overcast but not very cold Vancouver, B.C., Canada
what a wonderful day it is
ive got a belly full of sushi
a head full of hurt
and we`re looking forward to a big gig tonite here in downtown Van
Xavier and his crew are here too
fuck he`s a champ (the little Owl of the snow as i like to call him)
its so good to see other Aussie groups or one man bands out and about
this is actually Xavier territory
everywhere you go around here theyve gone Xavier mad
and rightly so
he`s got massive lungs for an Owl
the kid can blow cant he?
Jeezuz!!
Also
John Butler and wife and daughter and sister and manager and managers family
we`re in San Fransisco when we were there, which is actually where we first
bumped into Xavier
we were all, by chance, staying in the same hotel (the best hotel in the
world, The Phoenix)
not only that, but there were these Aussie (and N.Z.) chicks we knew from
back home who were in San Fran working with Micheal Franti
they also came and stayed at the Phoenix
it was mad fun
it was fully the Australian invasion
my friend Sinem said
"its so good to be able to hang out with some Aussies after all this time
away. Thanks cunt."
can you get much more Australian than that
beautiful
by the way
at the same time as i am studying Japanese (i dont know if i told youze
about that???)
im also working on using less foul language
its something ive always wanted to do
ever since i started saying cunt.

Right
anyway
back to tonite
first we set up all our gear
then, check this, we walk down a few blocks
catch the Donovan, G. Love, Jack Johnson show
then go back and play our gig after they finish
radical.

its gonna be one torrid, sweaty, sexually charged, neo-surf wank tonite isnt
it.
ha
sorry

Mitch tried pot last nite for his first time ever
he went all white and started sweating
then he climbed up and purched himself on top of the home theatre cabinet in
the hotel room and he was trying to convince us that he was a gargoyle
Matty Wu and i were trying to watch the telly that was underneath him
but he kept swinging his big meaty balls in front of it until he had our
attention
then he recited John 15:5 word for word
and then he passed out and fell off
fuck it was weird

did i mention anything about the USA west coast gigs?
hmmmm
well
we have a Winnebago
thats all you need to know
you should see us
kooks
we look like the maddest dregs cruising around in this thing
you cant park it anywhere
you cant see the traffic thats zooming around your sides and your behind
its hot in the heat and freezing in the cold
the stereo sucks
and theres this awesome lifesize picture of 3 little kids sitting in the
desert in Arizona which is plastered all down the side rear
its a bizarre situation...
i just bitched about it didnt i??
ok
sorry
its as funny as it is stupid
we`ve been cramming people in there before and after the gigs
thats fun
its got a fridge so we always have access to beer
and whenever theres someone standing up
if you hit the accelerator or the brakes
they fall over
so cool

oh yeah
Mitch and i had a surf in San Fran the other day
it was seriously the coldest water i have ever surfed in
and we were in bordies
oh my god it was heavy
it was so cold that we were laughing
thanks John for insisting that we get out there
it was our first ever surf in America so we were stoked no matter what
uhooooooo!!

alright
i dont know what ive achieved here
ive told you nothing about the gigs hey?
sorry about that

ill try again another time
just want you to know that we are grouse

im going to find Xavier
tchau
from Clay

ps. hows this. i met Kelly Osbourne yesterday. she was buying grog.